Dove dark chocolates have advice

[16:46] jbadge24: be a little naughty with your nice
[16:46] Dawn: dove is lucky i don't slap it across the face
[16:46] jbadge24: haha
[16:46] jbadge24: dove tried to reach into my pants on the first date
[16:47] jbadge24: i was like whoa dove
[16:47] jbadge24: can we get our meal first?
[16:47] Dawn: haha
[16:51] Dawn: dove is a dirty whore with a filthy mouth
[16:51] jbadge24: yeah
[16:51] jbadge24: i imagine this chick who's like very pretty
[16:52] Dawn: me too!
[16:52] jbadge24: and she's saying really sweet things
[16:52] jbadge24: but then like, her black hair gets frazzled and like
[16:52] jbadge24: she tries to rape you
[16:52] jbadge24: or like gets you to drink absinthe and dispose of a body
[16:52] Dawn: ok, not the way i was going
[16:52] jbadge24: like, the tyler durden of candy chocolates
[16:53] jbadge24: she'll hug your mother the first time she meets her
[16:53] jbadge24: but then, she have you tied to the bed dumping pig blood on you
[16:53] jbadge24: Dove: put a little naughty in your nice
[16:53] jbadge24: Dove: make a list of your dreams
[16:54] Dawn: Dove: Smile before bed, it makes you sleep better
[16:54] jbadge24: Dove: get the fucking ground you sniveling little shit, mommy's gonna have her way

Would you rather?

[09:45] Dawn: yay! danny's getting married in columbus!
[09:45] jbadge24: oh cool
[09:45] Dawn: i feel like that will be a fun wedding
[09:45] jbadge24: i'm gonna show up less than sober
[09:45] Dawn: i mean, i'm probably not invited, but...
[09:45] Dawn: for sure!
[09:46] jbadge24: i'm not invited i'm sure of it
[09:46] jbadge24: i told him she would be an ugly bride
[09:46] jbadge24: i don't think he liked that
[09:46] Dawn: that's weird
[09:46] jbadge24: yeah?
[09:46] Dawn: he's usually pretty cool
[09:47] jbadge24: i said, i would probably rather eat dogshit than see her walk down the aisle
[09:47] Dawn: but you said probably, so maybe you'll still get the invite
[09:47] jbadge24: i only say probably because if it were a three part choice and my own puke was involved, i'd rather eat that instead of dogshit so i didn't have to see her give her voews